Why Trying To Get “Rid Of Fear” Is A Mind Game You Can’t Win

By Lorraine Cohen, www.lorrainecohen.com

“You are allowed to be scared. Fear doesn’t come up because you did something wrong, you’re doomed, or you look funny. Fear comes up because you’re not seeing some gorgeous, valuable and much-needed jewel right where you’re standing, and it will absolutely not let you go out that door without it.” – Mark Silver

reflection-shadow1I’ve been dancing with fear all my life. For example, when I was in my 30’s I overcame fear of public speaking to become a sought after speaker and I moved to a new state with little money and no steady income to build a coaching/spiritual guidance/therapy practice that is approaching its 28th year. Was it scary? Hell yeah.

How did I deal with my fears and doubts? At the time I used what most people were working with: affirmations, creative visualization, focusing on being in the present, breathing, hypnosis, emotionally eating … techniques geared to interrupt the mental messages, body sensations, and change beliefs and “get rid” of the fear feelings.

The focus was all about stopping and getting rid of unwanted fears and feelings.

In the late 1990’s my life fell apart for the second time. After buying a new home, a new car, doing some home renovations, my therapy practice suddenly began to steadily decline. Money fears created a panic and I found the usual mind control techniques failed to provide any long term relief. I had periods of feeling terrified, helpless, angry, desperate, and sad. At other times I saw something miraculous happening that would change my life if I just stayed strong and trusting to walk the distance through the darkness into the Light.

I began to understand the missing pieces. I realized that facing fear is not about overcoming it, it is about walking through it. I began looking at fear in a new light…

Instead, imagine seeing fear as an ally to:

* Keep you out of harm’s way by alerting you to danger.

* Help you to discern when you need to set healthy boundaries to be safe and protected.

* Support you in developing courage to show up to LIFE.

* Build faith in yourself, others, and God.

* Provide motivational and inspirational energy to break through perceived limitations and illusions to stand in your greatness.

* Show you when the “little you” inside needs attention and comfort; to feel love, care, and protection.

* Empower you to find your voice in your relationships, your business and in the message you wish to share with the world.

* And most importantly, show you when you have disconnected from the Divine within you, the True Source of your Power.

Trying to get “rid of fear” is a mind game you can’t win.

As long as you see your fears as an enemy to defeat, you will continue to wage war against yourself.

To transform fear you must walk through it… to see the illusions and reclaim your Power.

The darkness or challenge is a pathway to the Light. You can get stuck in the story of a perceived problem. When you look for the deeper meaning of each experience that challenges you, you will always find healing, learning and growth opportunities.

Debbie Ford once wrote:

“Thank your soul for bringing fear into your life as a pathway to find your way back home to God – this presence within you that loves you dearly– this energy that always triumphs fear. Love your fears as you would anything you cherish – bless them, honor them, and use them as the sacred reminders that they are … lighting the way back to the wholeness of your Sacred Self and into the loving embrace of the Divine.”

Beautiful wisdom…

You are living at an auspicious time in history, waking up to see life through a new set of eyes in this Era of Enlightenment. Fear will continue to be a part of your life experience as you grow and evolve. A critical key to dance in this new energy is to learn how to live in the present moment, embracing each experience without resistance and allowing your feelings to be fully felt without trying to control, manage, move, and direct their elimination.

Any attempt you do to try to control your experience will create more resistance and suffering.

Feel your fears (and every emotion) without focusing on the mental story your mind/ego is creating.

Experience your emotions as the energy they are and breathe into them, doing NOTHING. Just feel, breathe and notice… body sensations, thoughts swirling…whatever…..let your emotions play out….

Without resistance and actively engaging your efforts to get rid of or stop what you don’t want to feel, the emotions will begin to burn out and fall apart leading to transformation. Peace and Grace will rush in when you stop fighting.

Embrace your fears with love instead of judging them and doing battle. Your life will change…. 😀


Founder of Powerfull Living, Rev. Lorraine Cohen (United States) is an internationally recognized life architect, spiritual guide, inspirational speaker, and heart healer. For more than 25 years, Lorraine has assisted thousands of women who value the inner journey, have the courage and passion to go deeper and create massive changes in themselves to reach higher states of consciousness and be of the greatest service to the world; to live a life that is awake and authentic and to create a reality that is conscious, deliberate and meaningful. www.lorrainecohen.com

Keys To Living Your Biggest and Brightest Life

By collaborator Lorraine Cohen www.lorrainecohen.com/blog/

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson.

woman-purple-oasisWe use the word power in many different contexts. Words have different meanings for each of us; different concepts, points of reference and interpretations.

The notion of Power might hold a negative connotation for you. For another, having power and feeling powerfull might be a positive state of being.

When you hear or think of the word ‘power’, what words or phrases come to your mind?

Do you have a negative reaction that turns you right off?

Do you have a positive response that feels uplifting and empowering?

A negative response to the word power might be:

~ Manipulation
~ Abusive
~ Money hungry
~ Controlling
~ Helplessness
~ Pain
~ Unkindness

A positive response to the word power might feel uplifting and empowering:

Feeling Unstoppable
Being Source
~ Becoming a deliberate Creator
~ Fearless
~ Freedom
~ Limitless possibilities
~ Confident
~ Having unwavering strength
~ Being in alignment with spirit
~ Living a value-base life
~ Sense of holiness

Perhaps you have a mixed reaction to the word Power and what it means to you?

When I talk about power what I am speaking about is your personal power because when you stand in your truth both as a human and spiritual being, how you show up is personal for you.

True power comes from being authentic and true to who you are, rather than solely focusing on your accomplishments and status. It means remembering that the Source of everything you seek that has created worlds lives within you, through you and as you. In this context personal power/authentic power is holy and Divine, individually and collectively.

Breathe into that. Feel that in your heart and in your body

Authentic Power is the relationship between your personality and your soul to create a life of meaning and purpose. Struggle happens when parts of your personality are in opposition to your soul’s intentions.

To create an authentically powerfull life you need to align your personality with your soul to have:

* A life with more joy and less pain and struggle.
* A life with more peace and love and less fear and drama.
* A life that allows your heart to blossom; to give and receive love freely and do things that make you feel vital and alive.

You stop trying to make things happen and start allowing life to bless you. What you are doing is fulfilling, nurturing and life seems to flow with ease and Grace even during challenging times.

What you believe, think, feel and say about power is critical to living your purpose and divine destiny. To deny and shy away from owning and embracing who you truly are as a powerfull co-creator is to separate yourself from the real you and God/Higher Presence.

This place of separation is caused by thought patterns, thought concepts, cultural conditioning, family/mental rules, and past experiences of unresolved pain and traumas.

In this incredible time of awakening we are being called to uncover where we are misaligned with our truest selves; to heal our hearts, and reclaim the life we came here to live.

You might be feeling stuck, scared, confused, overwhelmed, frustrated as well as excited and optimistic…. You might be feeling a deep inner yearning for something that something that wants to be expressed or released….

This is a time of breakthroughs, miracles and magic. The most important relationship in creating an authentically powerfull life is the one you have with God as the veils of separation are thinning.

The bond you have with the Divine is an essential key to create heaven on earth and live your biggest, boldest dreams. The time is NOW to make those dreams happen.

The Divine is reaching for a deeper connection with you. Do you sense that?

This year holds a very different energy – one that is full of promise and joyful manifestation. This is a year of Magic and Fulfillment; to give yourself permission to have what you really, really want and not what you think you need to settle for.

Can you feel that too?

This is your time. Go, make some magic! 😀

Love and blessings,


Founder of Powerfull Living, Rev. Lorraine Cohen is an internationally recognized life strategist, soul guide, inspirational speaker, heart healer, and charismatic broadcast personality. For more than 25 years, Lorraine has used her extraordinary spiritual and intuitive gifts to support spiritual women who want to make a difference to release fears, traumas, and not feeling good enough to live a soul-fulfilling, abundant and happy life.

Collaborator to a soon to be released books, “Embraced By The Divine: The Emerging Woman’s Gateway to Power, Passion, and Purpose.” and “Unwavering Strength Volume 2.”

Learn more: http://lorrainecohen.com